According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Success! We fucked roommates!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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