return my video game
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
