he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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