i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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