Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
