My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
