Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
