My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
