Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
