I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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