it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
