Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
