Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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