I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
