never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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