Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
