like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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