i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I skipped work to stalk him.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
