you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
