Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
