found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
