I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
