Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
