well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
