I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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