the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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