think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
is it fun? or sober?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
