i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
