So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
