i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
