when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
