Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
