Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
