After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
