I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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