corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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