Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
