you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
