we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
