Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
