no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
