I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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