I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
