i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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