I wannas sexs uuuuu
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
