Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
