do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
