Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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