is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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