I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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