I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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